A Hygiene Hit Piece
Updated: Jun 27
Every provider has that experience that makes her realize: Oh lord, I need to make every client shower, don't I? Mine was when a sweet, somewhat nervous attorney left a skid mark on my sheets. That's it, I said. I give up, I can't trust dudes to shower before seeing me.
Some of you reading this are thinking, of course I shower directly before seeing a companion! That's just common sense. Unfortunately, many men think there's nothing wrong with working all day, not showering, and then getting intimate. They figure well, I work at a desk, how bad can it be? Not taking into account that they're sweating, going to the bathroom and are going to be funky.
So please understand that regardless of what you tell me, I will require that all clients shower at my incall. I prefer for our meetings to start on a friendly note. Sit down, talk, build a connection. Then shower. This allows for a slow build up to passion and for our psyches to naturally relax and open. I usually don't want a suitor to immediately shower upon arrival because I prefer to get to know you before clothing comes off.
There's nothing that makes my heart beat faster than a good smelling man. So when you hop into my shower, be sure to lather the soap and start from your head, working your way down. Yes, this means you will be washing your dick, balls, and spreading those cheeks WITH SOAP. It won't
make you gay, I swear. And don't forget the feets! Unfortunately yes, some men need to be taught how to shower. Ask any FSSW and she'll tell you: some men barely get wet when bathing.
Don't forget your oral hygiene as well. I provide mouthwash but please brush your teeth right before seeing me if you expect me to want to kiss you. And would it be too much to ask for ya'll to get those root canals done and cavities filled cos wow, dead teeth stank is real... wait ok Yes, I'm definitely asking for too much.
Ok loves, I tried to stay nice. Was I nice enough or did this descend into Assholery Against Smelly Men (AASM)? If so I am deeply sorry because most men smell like roses. In fact, most of my suitors only have like one or two dead teeth.